fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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