if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
