Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
