Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
