i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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