I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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