Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we're making bets on your personal life
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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