cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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