I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
