I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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