so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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