i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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