just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize