we have pet lesbian snakes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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