they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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