He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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