Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?