STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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