we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize