Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i used baking grease as lip gloss
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
