I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize