I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
