Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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