You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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