She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
