We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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