so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
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maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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