He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
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Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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