i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize