I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
