I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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