if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
