i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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