Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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