Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
