Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize