that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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