that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
