gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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