I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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