I wish life had little blips of pornography
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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