There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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