You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
soo... how was my night?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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