i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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