fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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