he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
