xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
