on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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