It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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