I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
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The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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