Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
