So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
