So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
