Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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