I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
