planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
