I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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