even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You ruined the universe
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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