so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
it's like iHOP with fire
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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