i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
