Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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