that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
