I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
