Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
